31/07/2017

I'm Pregnant! Hold on Popcorn, Hold on...

This blog holds my entire pregnancy history, if you've been a reader from the very beginning of Babyy Pebbles you will be aware of this already but if not I'll share a quick insight into what we've been through. I've had quite a journey trying to get the family of my dreams, it wasn't the fairy tale I always imagined that is for sure. We had an early miscarriage at 5+ weeks, a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks, a full term pregnancy leading to a very healthy baby girl named Penelope then unfortunately another loss at 5-6 weeks pregnant when Penelope was around 6 months old.

I'm not sure where this little quirk comes from but between myself and Reese for some reason we have a naming thing about the letter 'P'. You see with each pregnancy we've had, each baby has a name all starting with the letter P. Even our dogs named Pippin!? Perhaps we have an issue of some sort there but that's another blog post haha.

Pregnancy 1 - Pippie
Pregnancy 2 - Peach
Pregnancy 3 - Pebbles (Then named Penelope once we realised this would be a baby to keep finally)
Pregnancy 4 - Pickle

Today I'm announcing my fifth pregnancy. Pregnancy 5 - Popcorn. This was completely Reeses choice of name. I'll be honest I wasn't overly keen on it at first. I wasn't sure it suited but then I had a lovely thought...We have two little guinea pigs in our home and when guinea pigs are happy they start jumping and twitching all over the place. It's called popcorning. Suddenly I got emotional because to me Popcorn means happiness and that's exactly what our little tomato seed has brought us. Myself and Reese are completely over the moon so it suits just perfectly infact.


I'm currently writing this at 4 weeks and 1 day pregnant so it's all still very much sinking in, we only found out on the 4th May. The excitement is definitely there, oh is it there! BUT creeping up closely behind it is the anxious gut wrenching dread that something will go wrong and all this excitement and joy will be ripped away from us all to soon. Each time I need a wee I instantly have to battle away the fears of seeing blood on a tissue. I can't shake those feelings after all we've experienced with pregnancy, nobody would expect me to feel any different either I would expect. We can't just fully enjoy it like some people can.

I keep telling myself in my head and outloud that "everything is going to be okay, my body is strong enough and it will take care of our little one". I ask little popcorn to "keep holding on, just keep holding on". It's something I need to do for myself more than anything because thinking positive I feel will give us the best chance of a successful pregnancy. I can atleast try to convince my body that it can do this full term thing again can't I? If we do loose this baby I know I can say I really tried to do my best to help all I can.


I would absolutely love to bring this little baby into our family because we so have the space in our hearts to do so, we have all the love it will ever want/need right out here waiting for it. I'm praying every minute of everyday that we can keep Popcorn, that he/she will grow and keep growing and continue to thrive inside me until I can hold them in my arms like I did their sister almost three quick years ago.

I'm pregnant, I took a test or infact quite a few and this is so real! We are back hoping for another rainbow, and only time will tell if we can keep you Popcorn but for now I'm going to soak up every minute I can spend connected with you because every single moment is a honestly blessing.

The video of my live pregnancy test results. I was pretty emotional Click Here
      


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