14/05/2016

Hello Stranger.

Where to begin? I suppose I should say Hello, its been so long I feel like I need to greet you all. You feel like strangers; crazy that I've let that happen. I cant dwell on the fact I've missed out logging our lives for the last few months, while we've seen Penelope blossom and grow into her now 22nd month of life, if I'm completely truthful life has been tough on our family lately.


These past few months have been manic for us. We've had alot of sickness all round this household, try thinking of anything that could make a human being poorly and I can tell you its been a problem for one or all of us.

For two weeks, time dragged by far to slowly for my liking, we were worried sick for my mum as she was undergoing investigation for the big C word. She underwent a procedure and thankfully the doctors took a few biopsys but all have come back okay. The problem doesn't end there though, while thankfully she doesn't seem to have cancer. My mum is still not well. Shes had diabetes her whole life since she was 3, her body seems to be slowly letting her down after so long of not being able to look after her health well enough. She isnt well, and it frightens me. Seeing a lady thats done her best raising us by herself starting to struggle hurts my heart. For her these past few months have been hellish. 

Reese and me have been up and down for a while now, being in a relationship is the hardest thing in the world. Staying happy takes alot of work especially as parents. We have so many issues to work through but I have faith that in time we can work through them.

I've felt so consumed by life that I feel we've been fighting to stay a unit, trying to keep going and to hold on tight while the road has been bumpy. Our problems are not gone, but we are surviving.

The one person that has all of us tripping over our hearts is Penelope. She can put a smile on our faces in any situation. Many times I've had tears ready to poor from my eyes, and then I hear 'Mama' and a tear or two will fall but its because I'm so bloody greatful to have her there. She stops my sadness in its tracks. Instead my heart fills with love and I stare into her loving eyes. Just imagine feeling at your lowest and seeing your near two year old running open armed to give you the warmest hug you so desperately need.

I need to do a much needed update on her really, as so much has changed, she is doing so so well. She is nearly a whole two years old. You can completely see it too, the personality on her is huge, sometimes she knocks me for six giving me attitude and I'll pause and think...'Oh know she didn't?!'.

I'm going to leave it there for now, I hope we can catch up and get rid of that 'stranger' feeling quite promptly. I have so much to get out to you that I dare bombard you all in one post so ill have to space things out a little. It feels good to blurt my feelings out again. Thanks Babyy Pebbles, you really do help me for someone who struggles to express myself, this is the most effective way I can feel free from my own mind sometimes.
     
        
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