29/05/2015

Dear Penelope...


I've never wrote a letter to you before, but I'm feeling like I need to right now, maybe I'm being over emotional but that's what having you has done to me. I wanted you to know how much I love you, adore you, treasure you, and how very proud I am of you.

Your growing up far to quickly into an independent, strong willed, and very clever little girl. I never imaged I would feel such intense love for anything, ever. Infact I didn't know it was even possible to love anything like I love you... each day it blows me away.  You're only 10 months old but you are learning at a pace that I just cant keep up with, its a little hard for me to take it all in actually.

You are the baby who I fantasized of my whole life. As a young girl I would trawl through the Argos book (cringe) picking out everything that I would buy for you. I'd kit you out with all sorts of nonsense that I have now discovered you never actually needed. Having you in reality is far better than any fantasy I ever imaged as a child, but it's also much more difficult too.

I wake up every morning knowing that you are either asleep beside me (naughty mummy) or sleeping peacefully in the next room, I know that your'll destroy the house and make me want to pull out my hair at some point during the day but that's okay because at the end of the day I'll feel like I want to high five Iggle Piggle because its time for you to go to bed. I'll be so pleased to have some well needed thought gathering time and a chance to sit down. But Pennybug I think it's so important for me to mention how much joy you have given me throughout the day too. Every single second I spend with you, you amaze me in some way. A moment with you never goes unappreciated.

When I'm having those overwhelming stress head  mummy moments where i'm close to breaking, your'll give me such a cheeky grin and flush it all away. Do you know why? Because you my dear are such a special girl, you have a pure innocent soul. You rely and depend on me no matter what happens. You have nothing in your heart but trust and love for me. You're none the wiser about how much hard work you've been that day or how far to the looney bin you have pushed me by fighting your naps even though its for your own good. You don't mean to be difficult at times, its nothing you understand nor can control. But in those moments just seeing that smile makes everything worth it. I'd gladly go through every single day for the rest of my life with your screaming fits even for just one look at you smiling. Seeing you happy Penny is all I long for, no matter what any day brings us both, I will always wish for your happiness.

 I hope with every single ounce of me that you will always know one simple fact, even when you think that I'm being unfair, mean or darn right 'the worst mum ever'. I'll always love you, adore you, treasure you, and I will always be proud of you...please don't ever forget that.

All my love

Mummy/Mama

xxx

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