14/12/2014

Introducing Pippin!

Ever since I was young I had always wanted a Chihuahua. They were the perfect size as I'd never want a breed too big for me to handle. So I went for the smallest possible breed instead haha! We got him completely by chance, and decided out of the blue that we were going to view some puppies. We arrived to a breeder who had two little boys left. One was eating the breeders handbag and another sitting quietly in a tiny dog bed looking very nervous. Guess which one we went for? Of course the quiet one. We bought him home, and named him Pippin. 

Obviously knowing the dangers of dogs around babies I knew it was important we make it clear he's not to nip or harm her. He's doesn't try to nio but he does get to excited and gets abit up in her face at times. I can only say the training is still work in process. He actually tends to nip at me and Reese but not the baby. Maybe he knows she's only a baby like he is. 

They are never left alone together and are only interacting with each under my supervision. 

Penny and Pippin get on so well you just wouldn't believe it. Penny knows exactly who he is, and will look at him on the floor and will put her hands out for him and stroke him nicely herself too. He does tend to lick her hands but I'm always handy with a baby wipe! I encourage nice behaviour and disencourage naughty behaviours. 

If Pippin gets over excited he gets told 'No'  or will be put down away from us. He's doing pretty darn well for a young puppy. 

As far he's learnt to 'sit', wait for his food to be put down, and 'paw'.I'm yet to get him to master 'lay down' and 'in your bed'. I can only keep trying.
It feels great to have a family dog, I can't wait for picnics and family walks altogether. I want Penny and Pippin to be brought up together and have a strong bond. Already I can see they're starting to. There's been a few times when Penny has been screaming while I prep a bottle and she just has to wait, Pippin will jump in on the sofa, and sit by her nicely and she stops crying. Other times if Penny is being fed or put to sleep the dog will lay by me while she's fed or while I rock her to sleep. If she fusses in her bouncer he'll put his paws on and check she's okay

Pippin has also heard Penny cry before I have and will sit outside her door almost as if to say 'it's awake, I can hear it, come on women'. 


Of course he's just as much trouble as he is adorable. He chews anything left on the floor, shoes and clothes have been wrecked! Somehow he always finds something. He has skittish moments which always end up with someone tripping or even himself getting hurt. He'll get over excited and start nipping my hands. 

But I suppose he will soon grow out of the naughty puppy stage. 





Love Lorraine 
Xxx

12/12/2014

Penelope's 5 Month Update

*Picture Heavy Post*

This month has well and truly whizzed past, what with Christmas approaching so quickly! It's been a bizarre month, there's no other way to describe it other than just bizarre haha! It's had magical moments and moments where I'm close to erupting into full blown tears. 

Penny has just come out of her 4th leap in her mental development, it had been a difficult month. In her last update I mentioned she had been very clingy and her moods were fragile. So coming out of the leap was a confusing journey. One day she would be back to her chirpy old self and then next minute she'd be hysterical and nothing would make it better. Not even mummy, I'd just hold her tight and sing to her until she calmed down and exhausted herself to sleep.

The last 2 weeks I would say she's successfully been back to herself. Only, she's changed and grown immensely in many of her developing skills, she's growing more confident every single day.

- Her hands are grasping with ease now. 
- Her legs are starting to support her weight.
- Her legs are forever up in the air and becoming increasingly more interesting, she'll try to catch her feet or her knees. 
- Babbling and interacting with people more. 
- You can tell when she is happy to see you, and she'll be upset when you leave or ignore her. 
- She's becoming more playful by wanting to play with toys. 
- She loves to feel new things, faces, hair, Christmas tree decorations. 
- Sitting up is getting easier and Penny is even starting to sit and then reach for things while sitting up. 
- Tummy time is starting to be tolerated for longer time periods. Shes starting to enjoy it even.
- She is increasingly trying to hold her own bottle, becoming quite stubborn at doing it herself too.
- Taking her own dummy out is a new fun game, she can get it out but not always back in! 



Her feeds are pretty much the same, 4 bottles and some days (it's increasingly going up) 5 bottles of 7o. The last week I've had to put her back on purées and her reaction was to squeal and smile the house down. Her favorite were apples she grinned the whole time unless the spoon was empty, then she'd grumble! She ate a whole small pouch of the stuff, I couldn't get it in quick enough! 


I didn't manage to get Penny weighed this month! I've just been to manic! I'm so gutted as I love seeing how much she's grown each month! But she has definitely grown.. A lot. My arms are really feeling it and so are her clothes, I am known to drinking things in the wash. Either way we'll be in the next size most likely by 6 months. 


There has been one bad point which has come up this month in full storm. Teething. She is struggling so much some days. The picture above was one of her worst, she was so miserable no matter what I'd try. It wasent enough to let her sleep, or even just relax. Her cheeks were red and boiling hot to the touch. Bonjela, calpol, teetha granules, and teething toys in and out the fridge. All not enough. 

I'm currently writing this post while on Penny's longest car journey yet. 2.5 hours and she's been a star so far. She doesn't really sleep for long in the car so she's wide awake. Stopping for a bottle at the next services and a chance for her to stretch her little legs! 

Back to the update ....

I could go endlessly on about the things she's learnt and is currently learning to do. I just find it so overwhelming. I know I probably say this every month and I'll still be saying it in the other yet to come. But when new things happen or she holds my lips, and smiles when I walk in the room, it simply blows me away. I can't even think about her without getting choked up.

      (My girl is 5 months old, holy cow!)
   (After a hysterical baby storm) 

(Tummy time? 'Not a problem mummy!')

              (The 'I'm tired eye rub')
             
(A tough teething day)


          (Falling to sleep on mummy!)


Love Lorraine 
Xxx




01/12/2014

Penelope's First Visit With Santa!

I know she doesn't understand what on earth Christmas is all about she's far too young. One day she will be old enough! I want her to be able to look back on pictures and videos we captured so she can see herself as a tiny little girl embracing every moment of it! We went to see Santa arrive at Frosts garden centre. He came down with snow fairies while snow fell all over us, just magical. She looked on watching him 'walk' down! His reindeer must have been resting?! was obviously far more excited than she was, totally naive and oblivious to all the good fun around her.

A few days later we actually went to visit him. I had butterflies in my stomach and even refused the mince pies on offer. Who knew I would be such an emotional wreck....But heck my daughter was about to meet Santa! THE Santa. A man she will grow to love and be so excited to see every year that she'll squeal her little heart out. A man she will admire, a man she will put all her hope into by asking him for what she would most like for Christmas, wishing that he will get it for her. It felt like the first of many happy years to come. Very over whelming.

Here is Penny with Santa! 



And of course your typical family Christmas photo :)



Love Lorraine
Xxx


29/11/2014

Baby Smiles #3


Hi, back for another baby smiles! 

I'm quite liking the idea of having a collection of happy memories! There's definitely a time when they come in handy. Today Penny has had a horrible day, she's just slept most of the day and then when she has been awake she's been crying from a bad tummy ache that just won't budge. Poor girl. I decided to scan through my phone and look back through my photos to a happier day. I stumbled across this one and thought it would be perfect for this weeks baby smiles!

Visiting Santa... 



This photo was taken while Penny waited her turn to see Santa for the first time. She was loving all the fancy decorations and the flickering lights that surrounded her. To get this cheesy grin we were talking about her turn and what she was going to 'ask' Santa for for Christmas. 

Doesn't she just look cute in her Santa outfit, I could just melt!

Love Lorraine 
Xxxx


28/11/2014

1st Christmas Home Photoshoot!

Don't get me wrong I am not a professional photographer or have any clue about proper lighting or setups. I did my damn best and with that said I am slightly delighted with how well they came out! I love them! 

Here's how we got on! 
























Love Lorraine 
Xxxx

15/11/2014

My Miscarriage Journey To My Rainbow Baby Penelope.

I've tried to write this post for nearly 5 months and I simply couldn't do it. This is due to the fact everytime I try or start thinking back to it, I get consumed by sadness. Its hard to have those feelings resurface and open them up again. It begins to feel as raw as it did on the days it happened and the months or year to follow.

I feel this is something that means so much to me. I feel it's important to log it down and be able to look back on this post in years to come and see what we had to go through to get where we are in our lives. 

In your shallow obnoxious mind, you might think 'get over it' or 'everyone goes through something'. This post for me goes on to explain what was the worst times of my entire life and I don't think much else could ever top it. I haven't wrote this post for anyone else but myself. I invite you to read my experience but I don't invite shallow minded people to mock my pain. I hope nobody would anyway. But I needed to put that out there before I go on. 

We were sitting on the bed, me and my partner Reese. When he blurted out so out of the blue a statement which would change our lives forever. A topic I think at only a few months into our relationship would've scared anyone half to death. He said 'I think we should try for a baby?'

Immediately I laughed and replied some what along the lines of 'are you joking?'. I started to think it over and I thought 'you know what? what the hell I love this man and we are great together!'. All a child needs is love and you could bet your bottom dollar we would give all we could to give a baby a good life. So it was set that is what we decided...we were going have a baby. 

Can't be that hard, just get pregnant, buy baby stuff, give birth, hey presto you got your baby!? Oh how naive we were.

Only a month later did we need to do a test. We did the first at my dads house. I sat on the loo and peed on the stick. Straight away a bright blue cross came up! I can't explain the overwhelming emotion that over came me. I burst into tears and ran out to Reese, literally I hyperventilated in the kitchen. We actually did 5 or so pregnancy tests to confirm our results. How exciting we were pregnant.

We had mixed reaction when we shared the news only to family (as was still very early) my side of the family were excited and Reese's mum and dad were not best pleased but now I see only through pure concern as it was so soon into the relationship. 

A few days later all my symptoms seemed to be dullying off and I woke up one morning for work and I just didn't 'feel' pregnant anymore. I'll never forget it. I said to reese I think we need to do another test so make that +1 more test. Sure enough it said positive but at that time I didn't seem to realise it was a lot fainter than the previous ones we took. Later that day at work with a busy office I felt a wetness in my undies ao I ventured to the loo and to my horror realised I was miscarrying my baby. I was shaking like a leaf on the loo and somehow managed to consol myself in order to stand up and ring reese to come to the hospital (where I worked). My mum was called as she was in the same workplace. We sat in the room waiting to be seen. I sat in utter shock as we waited. Finally we were called and the lady examined me. My legs were shaking, I was clamy and frightened. 

I was told to go to the early pregnancy clinic, where I took a urine sample and waited for my results. Which turns out to be a dip in pregnancy test in which they calculate the amount of blood in my urine. I was brought into the worlds smallest box room and handed a peice of paper, the nurse then said.  'I'm sorry the test came back negative, your miscarrying'. Slap, bang and crush. I was heartbroken. I somehow walked out the room and walked up the corridoor before it hit me. I slomped onto a little hutch window and crumbled into heart wrenching sobs. 

I almost knew I would miscarry, I always thought I would. Ever since my mum had miscarried her last child at 18 weeks, I took the loss really hard. I had never experienced a loss in the family before. Miscarrying my own children had always played on my mind, it frightened me into when I tried to have children. I was sure to have the same fate. It was then my worst fears were confirmed. It did happen to me. I had lost a child at 5+ weeks. We called him or her Pippie. As he would've been so so small but in our hearts it didn't matter how big or small, it was our baby and we grieved for them so much. 

I was in a bad place for quite a few months, I longed for my baby that never was. I started to get angry and isolated myself. My relationship struggled but we battled through it! How I just don't know. Everyone comforted us and said it won't happen again, everything would be fine next time.

A few months later we decided to try again. My body had recovered and we were in a bit of a better mind set to carry on. It only took around two months or so before we were expecting again. Fantastic this was it, we would have our baby. We decided only too tell my mum, plus a few other close family and friends. We decided not to tell Reese's family due to the fact of their reaction previously as we just couldn't deal with any stress. 

Thankfully just a few days after finding out we were pregnant we were going to Turkey for 2 weeks! Perfect timing I say, we could enjoy the early few weeks of the pregnancy together, just the two of us. With no worries. It was the most amazing holiday for the first week it couldn't have been better. But the second week was a different story... I couldn't get out of bed, not even for food. Reese had to go and get me just butter and toast from the restaurant as its all I could eat. I've never felt so ill in my life! The morning sickness was horrendous. The plane home was also equally horrendous we didn't even know if I was safe to fly home. 

Homebound safe and sound on English soil. I returned to work and told a few more family and close friends about the baby. We were so excited I bought a little early baby item. A bib that said 'daddy makes me hap-pea' get it? Haha! We finally got the scan date through for our 12 week scan. We could not WAIT!

It dragged and dragged until it was the day before, I was at work. The day begun as normal I was getting on with what I needed to do. Until a certain old lady at work began to scrutinise everything I did. She was so awful to me that day. I went home in the car with Reese and sobbed on the way home. Who knows why she felt to treat me like that. I got home and went to the toilet straight away as I was busting for a wee. I wish I hadent bothered. Blood. Again I was bleeding. No, not again. I slumped into the sofa sobbing and screaming for Reese who was out by the car. When he came in his face dropped but he kept his calm and bought me to the hospital, my mum met us there. 

We were in that room again. The dreaded waiting room. My stomach was in knots just being there again. I went into the same examination room, had the same examination and was sent to the early pregnancy clinic just to be told to wait until the next day for my scheduled 12 week scan appointment. 'ARE YOU JOKING?!?!?' How would I cope until then, not knowing if my baby was okay or not. Reese has no choice but to work that night as his dad knew nothing of what was going on still. My mum stayed with me that night and comforted me as much as she could telling me to stay positive and the baby might be fine. 

The morning came and we arrived at the hospital ultrasound department, only to be told we were at the wrong place, typical us! We walked to where we were then told to go and I started to crack. I started to cry as I become frightened as to what I would see. Finally someone came in and said 'I'm really sorry but your in the wrong department.' To which I started shaking, that was it, the full tears came in. 'Please just someone put me out of my misery and see me' I thought. We finally got to the correct room and my mum waited outside for us as me and Reese went inside the scanning room. I laid down and the lady could tell I was terrified, she tried to comfort me. She spread the gel onto my stomach and moved it around, all of a sudden I saw my baby on the screen. I know what a baby looks like at around 12 weeks and my baby was not that. I knew as quick as the picture flicked up on that screen that my baby had died inside me. The lady said the baby looks like they passed away around the 7+ weeks mark, but my body hadent retaliated to the death, it hadent  started to miscarry. But my uterus had still grown, creating a small bump. So for weeks I was cradling my tiny bump, bought my first baby item, when infact my baby had passed away unknowingly. I can't think of anything more cruel in life than that. To think your caring and growing something you love already so much inside you, too then find out it wasn't what it seemed. After a previous loss already? This surely wasn't real life and definitely can't be happening to me? But it was oh so very real. Heartbroken. 

I was then asked to pull on my trousers, and was led out of the room to see my mum, who was smiling at me still hoping it was all okay. She saw my face crash and burn with that she started to cry. She was gutted for me. I could almost feel her heart crush as we hugged. We were told to wait in the tiny box room again. I felt sick to my stomach to be there again. 'I hate this roooooooom!' The lady came in and explained I needed an operation to get the baby out as my body wasn't doing it itself, I was at risk of infection. A D&C they called it. This basically ment my poor baby would be sucked out of me. It hurts now even at the thought of it! I was scheduled in for the following week,  I had to bare another week with my baby dead within me. It brought me some comfort in a way though. Peach as we named them. Hadent left me completely just yet, I still had him with me. He was still my baby. I didn't want him to go away. 

Reese's dad was calling him regarding work and to find out where he was. Reese finally answered the phone and blurted out I had a scan and they found we lost another baby. The conversation was over.

The day of the operation came, terrified and numb I got undressed into my surgery gear. After a not so bad wait I was told to go to my hospital bed and wait for the doctor to take me to surgery. I wasn't allowed reese or my mum to sit with me while I waited. I was crying and shaking in fear but they didn't care. I was so vulnerable. So ruthless of them. No matter what my mum or Reese said they weren't allowed to sit with me. I sat there frozen until it was time. I didn't move a muscle. The time came and I was called, I walked down too,can you even believe it...'Delivery Suite Theatre'. If that wasn't a slap in the face I don't know what is. My thinking behind it was, I was walking in with my baby and walking out empty. 

I had never had an operation before so it was all very unknown to me. They put me to sleep so the next thing I knew I was crying out for my baby. I remember it so clearly 'where's my baby, where's my baby, I want my baby back'. The nurse came rushing over. She simply hugged me, brushed my tears away and my hair back from my face. There's obviously nothing else she could've done for me, I was grieving. 

When I had calmed down I started to realise I was in a lot of pain and had to have my pain medicine put up. I then fell back to sleep. When I woke up there by my bed was Reese and mum were there. I felt so empty throughout my whole body. I felt like the worlds biggest a failure. 

The doctor came round to me and she said the operation went well apart from I bled a lot more than she's dealt with before. But she said all was now well. Was it well though? Nothing felt 'well' for me. I came home to find a big bunch of flowers from Reese's parents, they were sad too for us. They knew it was no time to be angry not this time, not after a second loss. After that I remember hardly anything but crying. I was completely somewhere else throughout the next few weeks. I was consumed with grief from head to toe. I had begun to loose hope of ever carrying a child. It hurt so much. I can remember so many times I would be hugging Reese on the bed and just simply sobbing for my babies. 

Just as soon as my body had recovered, we decided to try again, we couldn't give up! We just couldn't let the grief overcome us. Although it seemed like a loosing battle we carried on trying. A few months passed... using ovulation kits and keeping track on everything we could, in order to keep a close eye on case we got pregnant again. It wasn't working though. We decided that it put too much pressure on us as a couple and decided to stop using the kits but instead to just try to go with it. If we were going to get pregnant it will happen in its own time. Lone behold it wasn't then long before we did a test. And it came back positive! 

I didn't hold out much hope at all, I kind of gave up on the idea that the baby would be okay before I even had a chance to be excited. Dread and worry overwhelmed me. I couldn't loose another baby. I just couldn't cope with that. 'This baby had to be the one, just please let this be it' I'd tell myself. 

As we had two previous losses our case was looked into and the operation results to see if there was a reason for the miscarriages came back clear, all normal. We were booked in for a very early scan to see if all was ok, I was supposed to be around 6 weeks pregnant. I was going to have an ultrasound. You could say I was more than terrified seeing as my previous experience was horrific. I just expected the worse. Reese couldn't have been anymore nervous. It was an awful wait in the waiting room. Again we didn't hold out much hope.

The screen flicked on, the doctor was whizzing around on my belly. When he said 'look there's the heart beat beating away'. The baby was alive. A baby thriving inside me, it was all I could have ever wished for! But alas it was still so early, after all Peach died at 7+ weeks. Still my thoughts were not very positive at that point in time. It came to our 12 week scan and this is where the nerves really up tempoed. SO NERVOUS! Knots, dry mouth, sweats and butterflies overwhelmed us both I think. We were a right state haha! Lots of couples sitting in the waiting room  who most likely will be leaving with great big smiles on there faces and amazing news to share with the world. Then there was me hoping and praying I would to, would we finally have some good news too?

We walked into the ultrasound room, on flicked the screen. It was the picture I had wanted to see for such a long time. One I had convinced myself I wouldn't see. It was a healthy, strong, and perfectly forming baby. Moving around wrigglling away in my belly. It was such a magical moment for us. I cried, a lot. Happy tears this time though finally. We told everyone this time anyone who would listen to us really. Everyone this time was happy for us!

The rest of my 9 months dragged by and until the day she would be born She was never going to be safe in my mind. She had to be here for me to finally see it was going to be okay. It was a long 9 months but it just amazing too. Such a blessing to be pregnant, I took every bit of morning sickness and clenched my teeth with back pain. I was greatful for every single bit of it! It felt like I'd been pregnant for nearly two years, in a way I was I suppose. And the rest consumed if the time full with grief, it was the hardest time for us. 

My due date approached. (I've already done my birth story so check that out). Reese and my mum spurred me on throughout labour, the two people who were there through everything. We all finally got to share the moment we all craved so badly for. The arrival of our little miracle baby girl coming into the world. Penelope. Safe, sound, and much awaited for. Finally we were blessed with the baby of our dreams. 

I consider the losses I had prior to Penny her brother and sisters. They brought us to her. I love them all so so much and I'll never forget them.  I know now that I t wasn't ment to be, I like to think they had a reason that they couldn't be here today. That's what keeps me positive about it all. Notice, through this post of the names of my babies Pippie, Peach, and Penelope. For some reason we have a thing about 'P's. We don't know why but we are always drawn to a name beginning with 'P'. Our puppy is even called Pippin. Strange right?! But it's almost like a subconscious memorial for our losses. 

This was such a hard post to write. I'm glad I've finally done it. One day I'll look back and just recap on how greatful I should be for my life.

Love Lorraine
Xxx

Ps look at her now modelling herself in the womb! 














12/11/2014

Penelope's 4 Month Update


Where have the last 4 months gone?! Honestly it has truly flown by, my newborn itsy bitsy baby girl is all of a sudden becoming her own person. They grow up so quickly! I've found there will be a day when out of nowhere she will learn something new or surprise us in some way. Penelope has come on leaps and bounds this month, it makes me quite emotional just thinking about where to begin. Slow down little one slow down. 

She has become very picky about who comes close to her or who gets to hold her. Mummy and daddy are excellent bets no worries there of course. Nanas and grandads are questionable. Sometimes she'll be completely fine and will smile and babble to them. Other times and the same for many other friends or family she will start to give a stiff lip and begin to winge, or simply burst into a screaming fit depending on her mood! It's very strange. 

She is having a rather clingy stage at the moment, she likes a good cuddle and sometimes just won't like being put down. I understand it's a feeling of anxiety, and it's her security and vunerability but for her sake and eventually for us (mum and dad) it'll be more comfortable for everyone if she didn't get so upset. Hopefully she'll start enjoy other family and friends in the upcoming months. I hate to see her genuinely upset. 

Her physical strength has improved massively. She is very steady sitting on my lap, sitting unsupported is still a long way off though of course. Holding her head up very well and when using motion to look up, down, left and right she's becoming a lot more confident. When she hears my voice she will on most occasions look for where I am. 

We have a new little Chihuahua puppy called Pippin, and Penny will watch him scarper around the floors and follow him around the room wherever he may go. She loves to watch him and will smile at him. 

She has a little quirky perk too of recently.  When you say something to her or try and make her smile. Sometimes she will go all girly and shy, quickly smile and shy away into my shoulder or into her shoulder. It's just the cutest thing!

We got her weighed at the end of October and she weighed 14.12 pounds!  How can this be?! She's a right little chunky monkey with rolls in her legs, creases in her arms! And a right little podgey belly which I adore! She couldn't be any cuter. I love a chunky baby. She was so skinny and had such long skinny legs when she was born, comparing her to now she's filled out realllllyyyyyy well! So I must be doing something right. 


I've noticed her continuous interest in trying to put things in her mouth, although she hasent quite mastered the nack as well as she would like. Penny being her diva little self gets frustrated when it doesn't go the way she likes. If it doesn't go into her mouth without to much fussing she will have a strop! Her face will scrunch up, her hands will start flying around and she may let out a grumpy grunt or growl with a little red flustered face. It humours me a lot! Who knew a baby of 4 months could have a tantrum haha. The good news is she will try and try again until she gets it. Always good to keep trying I say! Never give up.

I feel teething is a big part of this new found hobby. She loves rubbing on her gums whether it be a dummy squeaking on them, a muslin cloth rubbing them, or a teething toy if I hold it for her. Her cheeks are becoming a regular shade of pink with a hot temperature. And the dribbling, oh the dribbling! It's like a stubborn tap drip that won't stop. I'm forever changing vests, changing her dribble bibs or even my own tops. 

The month included many a tastful first such as baby rice, bananas, apples and carrots. Her favourite I would say were the apples. Her face was truly one to remember, pulling a real eye squinting pouted mouth little face! She would smile at me as if to say 'Mmm mum I'm really enjoy this'. 

But this last week she has totally gone off any baby purees at all, there's just no interest in them at all and if she does take some it will be spat back out or her tongue will try to push it out. It's the same with whatever we try. I started her rather early as she had a phase of being extra hungry after only a very short time. 

It did work for a matter of three weeks. We had a very contented well fed baby.

Alas it wasn't ment to be... I've decided to stop trying to feed her the food. If she simply isn't interested in it, I'm not going to force it upon her. She will let me know when she is ready to try again. So for now we are sticking with her regular bottles of 7o every 3-4 hours. She has around 4 bottles a day and a top up bottle of between 2-4o before bed. 

Her vocals are changing so much. She is making other sounds other than 'coo' 'goo' and 'boo'. I hear a different little sound coming from her alot more regularly now. Her squeals are becoming alot more squeakier now too. She prefers to do this right in the ear hole may I just add! Any louder and I'll have to be checking my eardrums are still in check! 


Hand eye coordination is improving everyday! I took this picture as I just couldn't believe she brought up both hands to grab the bear! You can see how hard she was consentrating by the look on her 'hard at work' face. Since this picture she is mostly using both hands to grab a lot more of her toys, just the other day she grabbed her rubber duck in the bath and bought it up and into her mouth! I could've squealed with pride.

She will reach for your facial features, grabbing your nose, lips or even trying to pull them clean off! My hair is already falling out thanks to the glamorous after pregnancy perks. It doesn't quite help the situation when your baby is also pulling heaps of your hair out because they've entangled they're fingers in it and decided to wave there hands around 'like they just don't care'. Thanks Penny haha! 



Putting the laughs aside, this new skill is also one of the most precious moments we've shared together too. I couldn't imagine a more idealistic moment than when your baby has her hand gently resting on your cheek staring right into your eyes. Or when she's just exploring my face, really looking at me, feeling me, concentrating and really taking me all in. I feel as if she's thinking. 'So this is my mummy, this is what she feels like'. Ugh it brings me to complete soppy mush even thinking about it. It feels so surreal to me even four months on. I finally have my little baby right here in my arms and she's trying to explore everything about me, bonding. 

I almost forgot to include a momentous moment that happened this month! She had her first giggle And has since giggled a few times since then too! It's becoming more regular as time goes on. The first ever giggle was in the bath I believe I explained the full story in my previous post 'Full of Firsts'. It's such a joy to hear her giggling and to think I'm actually funny?! That's a blessing in itself! Someone who finds me utterly hilarious. *smug face inserted here*

Penelope hates tummy time and will only tolerate a couple of minutes here and there. The typical thing is that she is genuinely quite good at it! Let's hope she learn to like it as the weeks go by a little more. 

Even the bad days (we've had a few) still amaze me. She'll express her frustration or upset in different ways all the time, even though they aren't positive moments I still adore them because it's her way of trying to figure out her communication, her way of figuring out what she likes and doesn't likes. So much learning for one little person. 

I can't wait to see what next month brings!












04/11/2014

Babyy Smiles #2

This weeks Babyy smile is as cheeky as ever! 
 

She was smiling because she'd just woke up from her nap and I'd come in to get her out of the cot, it was time for lunch!! 

She always wakes up with a smile. She's the happiest baby in the world after a nap, I suppose all mums would say that though haha. I should count my lucky stars that Penny isn't to bad taking her naps. It makes me ooze with pride every time she gives me the 'yay mummy, I'm awake woooo' look. I feel so lucky to have her. 

To join in just tweet #BabyySmiles
And include me so I can see them. @Lorraiiiiine


Love Lorraine 
Xxxx

30/10/2014

Full of firsts!

This week has been momentous! Nearly every day Penny has done something new or had a first of something. It's been really over whelming for me and I've spent most of this week crying happy tears over my beautiful little girl growing up.

I thought I'd share what they were :) 

So firstly she had her first few spoons of baby rice! She absolutely loved it and seems to be a lot happier after she's had the rice. I'm glad I started her a little earlier than 4 months as her formula just wasn't cutting it. She's happier and I'm happy knowing that! Her first reaction was priceless her face dropped and she wouldn't closed her mouth. She sat there with her mouth open like 'yuck! What have you just done mum get it out' but once she got a little taste she perked up to the idea. After a few spoons she was opening her mouth for more and swallowing the majority that was on each spoon. It was a messy scene haha! 


She had her first ever bath with mummy! I could absolutely kick myself for not doing this alot sooner. I was just always making excuses as I was to nervous about the idea and thought she was way to delicate. I felt that finally now was a good time to give it ago so I dived into the bath and got my other half to help us. It was such an experience, it made me feel so close to her. She seemed to really enjoy it too and was smiling the world away! 


She had her first giggle! It was also bath related...actually it was the day after the first try. I decided to bath with her again as we both enjoyed it so much. Daddy was playing with Penny and her ducks as she loves them and finds them fascinating. He was squeezing another toy and it made a high pitched noise.  I'm sure she thought it was the ducks making the noise, she was staring at them like crazy. All of a sudden we heard this giggle! She was absolutely laughing her head off. And she just couldn't stop haha! It was the cutest moment in the world. I felt such a warmth inside it was so special. A moment shared with mummy and daddy! 

...But we didn't video or take any pictures unfortunately. It was the last thing on my mind! 

I'm also leaving Penny for the night tomorrow for the first time. Reese is taking me to Thorpe park fright night and we're staying away the night in hotel! I'm dreading leaving her and have been soooo emotional thinking about it. I hope she has a lovely time with her nana and I have to remember she's in safe hands. 


And lastly she had her first baby group experience. She laid in the blanket with all different sensory bits and absolutely loved it. She pulled all different materials into her hand and ending up basically burying herself in it all. As I sat there watching her wriggle around so happily I thought to myself this is something we should do alot more. So I'm going to start going regularly! 


Love 
Lorraine xxx

18/10/2014

Exploring in the car

Today was a completely miserable day outside but this morning we chose to go for a walk up the downs (public walking place). Mummy, daddy and little Penny pops in the back!

We arrived there and it was so crazily busy with school trips and fitness classes we decided to go on drive instead. We ended up getting lost and just driving in any old direction along the country lanes. It was just beautiful, leaves fallen to the ground, leaves browing all different colours huge hills, forests. The views were amazing. Never mind all the poor road kill we saw just absorbed all the beauty! 
We drove past countless outrageous houses that we imagined ourselves in and decided what ones we liked and disliked, does anyone else do this? It's such fun the strangest thing we saw was a giant sculpture of a squirrel carved from a tree in someone's front garden. 

I really enjoyed it! And would definitely recommend giving it ago! Especially this time of year! 
Go out on drive and explore your country side and villages. 


Love Lorraine 
Xxx

17/10/2014

Penelope's Nursery & Organisation

I'm that typical control freak mum who always has to have things in their proper place, has to have them positioned in a certain way, and won't rest until it's how it should be. Which means I annoy everyone around me on a daily basis haha! My poor other half! I wouldn't know what to do if things were chaotically unorganised, most likely fall down and weep. I'm not completely anal but I like to be tidy and prepared...Imagine having a screaming, wet, hungry, sticky baby and you can't find the wipes or the bibs, no thankyou. Don't get me wrong I've experienced it and it's utter carnage trying to hold 1283 things and a baby all at once while looking for a calpol syringe for example. It happens. But if I can avoid that madness as much as possible and try to have everything where i know it'll be... I will. Here's how I keep things under control in Penny's nursery by  organising her things:


Welcome to Penny's Nursery


I love how her nursery keeps most things hidden but is still really cute and girly. Penny loves her room and the decorations in it. 


The hanging bits and bobs keep Penny entertained while I dress or change her bum. She loves the yellow booties and tutu! She'll have full conversations with them until she squeals the place down with excitement. The two top boxes hold her hairs bows (never worn yet all far to big) and the other is yet to find a use!


I got a smart dividers set from IKEA! It makes bath time and nappy changes so easy! Everything I need is just there at hand! 


I have containers on the top shelf holding category items. Bibs, dribble bibs, socks, tights, hats and gloves, knickers, mitts and muslin clothes. Honestly I got these for Reese so he'd be able to see exactly where things were! So far so good they forfil they're purpose. 

Left hand side: coats, cardigans, jumpers and jackets. Right hand side: tops and dresses. 
Mid left: Leggings and jeans. 
Mid right: Slippers and a dressing gown skirts and shorts.
 Bottom left: Blankets and comforters. 
Bottom right: Vests and her sleepsack. 
Bottom draw: Snowsuit, onesies (pj's) and vests for a size up. 


Every morning when I get Penny dressed for the day I will get her shoes, hat, mittens and jacket out ready in case we pop out somewhere. This obviously changes each day with her outfits. I also keep a wash towel on her changing mat as I feel it's so cold for babies to use with just bare skin I know I wouldn't be too keen. 


All her books go in this cute box ontop of her toy box for easy reach for naps or chill out time with mummy. (I don't read anywhere near as often as I'd like too.)


Her toy box holds the billions of teddies we received when Penny was born. I hope she like soft toys!!! 


 Under the cot in the draw I keep spare bedding, hangers, and extra monitor bits and bobs. This will look a lot better when the cot is lowered it will be hidden then, I don't like seeing thing I like it all away so it can't be seen. 


Shoes get so lost and muddled up if in the wardrobe so I use boxes to keep them all in one space so I don't struggle to find the other shoe and such like. 


This is under her changing table, in here I keep bulk/spare toiletries and nappies! As I took this I realised I'm on my last pack of wipes *writes on shopping list!*. In the bottom draw I keep cot sheets and Moses basket sheets (no longer in use), another sleep sack, Penny's scrapbook and baby book. 

Love Lorraine
xxx